Nothing Lasts Forever

Forever. Ha! I laugh at the very thought someone would actually believe in such a thing. Hogwash! Doesn't anyone know that nothing lasts forever?

For those who use the word forever, as a testament of their love towards their significant other, please refrain from doing so. The expression is simply not possible. I'm not saying the love you share for each other will never last. Rather that it's subjected to change, like everything in this world, for better or worse. I know I'm rationalizing at the moment, and when you're "in love", that tends to go out the window. But I've learned from experience, to just keep that particular word out of phrases of intimacy. It can only cause you grief in the future. For instance, the love you had for your college sweetheart, will never be the same as when you were both in college, due to the fact of unexpected changes and experiences you endure along the way, however big or small, will always alter this love one way or another. Like all things in this world, even love, nothing remains constant. Thus your love cannot always be the same...


I like the motto: "Live Fast, Die Young". I consider myself a risk taker in my own right and tried to experience as much as life has to offer, whether it be good for my well being or not. I'm not promoting a self-destructive lifestyle. No, far from it. Though I did have my moments. More like I'm encouraging individuals to enjoy every waking moment of their life. Every breath that you take is one step closer to your very own death. So why not enjoy every single breath you take, doing something you love. I know it sounds so cliche, but it's true. When I was in high school, I always thought in the back of my mind, I wouldn't live to be 18 years old, and somehow leave this world in a tragic death (car accident, suicide, murder,etc). So I lived like a rebel, with nothing to lose, and encountered things at a young age most people wouldn't experience till their latter years. Here I am, 27 years old and marveling how far I've come from that dark period of my life. I have no regrets about it at all. It help make me the man I am today. Crazy as it sounds, I still do have this zealous desire to die saving a small child from a near death experience. Sort of like my "going out in a blaze of glory"/path to redemption, for all the fucked up shit I did when I was a kid, type scenario. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to be in the the business of performing righteous acts for the sake of being labeled a hero. No, that's not me. I'll leave that for our armed forces, police officers, firefighters, etc. But rather for the importance of protecting something still pure and innocent in exchange for my life, seems truly poetic. One can only hope, this is how I go out...

Speaking of death, I've always wondered about this so-called Heaven and if it maybe a little overrated than it truly is. If you're wondering why I'm even posting a topic about heaven, it's because I was raised Roman Catholic. Ugh. I know. Before I lost my faith in the religion and it's teachings, I often pondered about the after life. Mostly my questions consisted of: "If there's a dress code or are clothes optional?, Could you make your own heaven from scratch, instead of the traditional puffy white clouds backdrop?, Are you allowed to throw ragers once in a while?, etc." As much as these insignificant inquiries sounded, it always left me baffled and curious to know what lay a head. But as I grew older and began to notice my body slowly deteriorating, these questions turned in to deep and troubling thoughts of uncertainty. I started to reflect on my life and what I've accomplished thus far. Death has a funny way of putting your life in perspective. Life and death, go hand in hand. It finally dawned on me, though I've always done things my own way and never followed the majority, I didn't have much to show for it. But when you're lying on your death bed, looking back on the life you've lived, as long you're content with the outcome, does it really matter what others think? I believe so. There are times though, that my thoughts contradict themselves. Yeah, I traveled to distant places some folks would only dream of visiting and partied my health away like there's no tomorrow. But when I returned back home, I felt like something in my life was missing. That I was only planning my next vacation to eagerly escape this perpetual void in my life. My mom has always wanted to see my graduate college and find a career I loved. Yet I never finished college, so in turn I never had a legitimate career. In reality, I was just working to fund my travels. Which isn't a bad plan when you're young, but I'm not getting any younger. How long can I possibly keep this up? I need to get my priorities in order to achieve what I want out of life...

Let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we? To be honest, I rather "Laugh with the sinners, than to cry with the saints", so to speak. But if for some strange reason, there's some clerical mix-up with God's paperwork, and I end up in this magical concentration camp, I better have the same freedoms as people who are still living on earth do (Except for the prisoners at Guantanamo). For instance, let's say you die at the early age of 3 years old and you end up in heaven. Do you at least get a choice to what age you want to spend eternity as with a bunch of insecure, goody two- shoes, or is that not an option at all? If not, then deport my ass straight to hell as quickly as possible. Who wants to die as a baby and live in this invisible place in the sky, as one also? WTF?! Same goes for individuals who weren't fortunate enough to die before they reached 90 years old and had to experience adult diapers and the agony of seeing their loved ones die, before they did. I sure as hell don't want to end up as a senior citizen in heaven, either. If I could find a happy medium between the two, I'd like to die in my twenties...

I never tried to plan too far out ahead in my life and always took it day by day. I know some individuals would consider this type of behavior to be irresponsible, and maybe it is. But it's my life and I'm prepared to deal with the consequences. If I happen to die tomorrow, I'm happy how my life turned out and have no regrets. I lived it my way and by my own set of rules (That's the existentialist in me, coming out)...

"Life is what happens to you, when you're busy making other plans" -John Lennon

So stop planning out every detail of your life and live in the moment, for once. I know I will...

On a happier note, this made me laugh. Enjoy losers!!!



-Signing off from the trenches-